i do....

this weekend marlo and i went to a marriage retreat hosted by our church. it was our first marriage retreat we've attended in our 12 years of marriage. as i left the retreat i couldn't help but think....we should do this more often. marlo and i have a great marriage by all accounts but there were some things that really stood out to me. below are a few of the take aways i had from the event.

1. i invest a lot more time and resources getting better at my job than i do investing in my marriage. i have one conference i go to every year (for the past 7 years) that has become a non-negotiable for me. it is a given that i will pack a bag every October and fly to Atlanta for catalyst. as we sat through the seminar this weekend it became so clear that i need to invest more time, energy and resources on my marriage.

2. what happened to my chivalry? i treated my girlfriend and my fiance with a lot more respect than i treat my wife. i used to open doors for her....not so much anymore. i used to comment on her beautiful eyes...haven't done that in ages. i used to have really meaningful spiritual dialogue with her..... this list could go on and on but you probably get the picture. i need to relearn how to "date" my wife.

3. my marriage is a huge part of my witness. like i said earlier....marlo and i really have a great marriage. our friends wonder why we never seem to fight or get really mad at each other so in many ways i think our witness is safe there. however, i wonder if my kids see us as a team when it comes to teaching them how to serve God and love others. i think i "do ministry" all day and have a tendency to drop the ball when it comes to planning opportunities for our family to serve the Lord by serving people. we're going to fix that problem asap.

if you are married and haven't been intentional about investing in your marriage....do it. marriages are under attack. at my home church we have a saying "if we don't win at home....we don't win at all." i pray you are winning at home and if you're not....i pray you seek the help you need.