ok.....looking for a little feedback on this one. if you do not have a google account and are unable to leave a moderated comment on the blog feel free to e-mail me directly at rwade@clifec.com.
yesterday my family was driving home from lunch when my daughter asked: why didn't the Easter bunny bring me anything this year? i asked why she thought the easter bunny was going to bring her something and she responded "because a lot of my friends at church said the easter bunny brought them some fun stuff!"
over the past couple of years i have grown increasingly uncomfortable with the whole idea of perpetuating the mythical figures our culture has produced over the years. from santa claus to the tooth fairy it seems like everytime i turn around i am being asked to lie to my kids. i am all for feeding their creativity and allowing them to be children. i want them to be able to look back and know that they experienced the fullness of being a child. however, i also want them to know that i lived by the same virtues i instilled in them....namely the virtue of honesty.
i know that billions of children throughout the course of history have not only believed in the fictional characters but eventually came to the understanding that they weren't real and managed to carry on fully functional and productive lives. my concern isn't with scarring them emotionally. i just doon't want to create any obstacles that might keep them from believing me when i tell them about Jesus. let's face it....believing in His story requires a full-throttle faith.
if i tell my kids that they will be rewarded for being good (santa) am i also teaching them that in some way good works will earn them the reward of salvation? if i teach them that there is a fairy that will visit their room after they lose a tooth and that there is a bunny that brings them gifts on easter and a jolly old man that mysteriously makes it down the chimney pipe at Christmas (none of which are true) am i also making it more difficult for them to believe that there is a God in heaven who loved them so much that He sent His only son to die on a cross for their sins? will they find it hard to believe that this same Jesus that dies for their sins was raised from the dead so that they too could defeat the burden and consequence of sin?
i know some of the responses that may be headed my way:
1. it is the spirit that draws people into an understanding of who God is so my kids, Lord willing, will be drawn into that relationship regardless of what I may or may not teach them.
2. lighten up wade! it's just harmless stories that allow kids to be creative and to imagine!
3. that is your decision as a parent....just tell your kids not to ruin it for mine :-)
4. it won't affect them negativel and your not really "lying" to them....your just playing along with their childish ways.
any thoughts????
6 comments:
I was a "smart" (allek actually) who found out about Santa when I was 4. I wasn't upset or anything. I liked knowning the truth. My aunt's daughter is 4 and she hasn't believed in any of them either for the same reasons you mentioned. She has been taught that Christmas is about Jesus's brithday...Santa is just something fun that they hear about, but he's a fictional character. As far as the tooth fairy...that was something I also figured out, so I didn't do that either. I also NEVER was even told about the Easter bunny. I still don't understand that one. haha. My parents did get Tyler and I little baskets, but they were from them...not the bunny. :)
I have never thought telling kids about santa and the easter bunny and all that stuff was a good idea. When you tell them about Jesus will they just think He is another mythical character? Society throws enough lies at us, and we don't need our parents doing the same. Don't get me wrong, I grew up believing in Santa and it wasn't bad at all. It was fun at times, but I don't think I am a better or worse person for it. Plus when I did find out they were all fake it took me a couple of weeks to recooperate. Sometimes I'm still disappointed haha.
The bottom line for me is that I will never tell my kids santa is real. I may give them the history about it, and not to spoil it for other kids, but personally I don't think it is a good idea. My kids will also not celebrate Halloween. I think Halloween parties with friends are fine, church events, things of that nature are ok, but knocking door to door you never know what the person answering may believe. They may take Halloween as a sacred holiday to worship the devil because people really still do that today. I know kids at my school, and I have researched it before. I wouldn't ever want to give someone else the impression that I, or my children, have anything to do with worshiping the devil whatsoever even if it may be "innocent."
Great blog. I love this topic & am very passionate about it, if you couldn't tell. =]
Ali
My kids are grown, Randy. Here's my perspective.
Mike and I chose NOT to do the bunny, Santa, tooth fairy etc.
Our reasoning came from reading a book by Frank Minirth. ( I think ).
The idea is that if you tell them that the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, etc. are "real" - then what will they believe about God when they find out they aren't "real".
I must say that I regret having totally eliminated these things from my boys childhood.
In hindsight, I believe that I would celebrate the spirit behind these traditions - while telling them it's like a "game" that we play. Somehow distinguish between these traditions and our REAL Heavenly Father.
Honesty is important. So is the creativity that God has instilled in all of us, after all, the first things accounted for by God was that He created. I believe He's a creator at heart. I do find that there is a fine line between fantasy and knowing that it's nothing more than fantasy. That's what is important.
But to address the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause, I believe it's absolutely ridiculous for a Christian parent to allow their children to believe in such fiction. Not because it's fiction, but because those characters take the place of Christ and water down the importance of the true holiday.
Bunnies don't even lay eggs.
I agree with your thinking, Randy. Do enough digging into history, and you will find many of the things we do while celebrating the holidays have so many pagan roots.
Ever found out where the name Eater came from? The goddess Eostre. Goddess of fertility, thus the bunnies and chicks. I was floored when I started searching out the meanings of many traditions.
Our family no longer celebrates Halloween. That search left me very troubled as a Christian. I found no reason whatsoever to celebrate anything remotely associated with Halloween.
I have trouble with Easter and Christmas when the focus is taken off Jesus. The easter egg hunt, the indulgence of Christmas presents for our children, etc. It takes our focus off what we are trying to pass on to our children. They hear us, but also watch us. I know my children struggle with their focus unless we spend the entire week prior, reading the biblical account of Jesus' birth and ressurection.
How much of our traditions actually show our faith in Christ to our children?
So, I decided that telling stories about imaginary beings would take the focus away. My niece even asked if Santa was like Jesus since he knew if we were good and bad. I don't want my children equating anyone with Jesus or God.
It is a fine line enjoying the traditions we grew up with, while effectly passing our faith on to our children.
God Bless :)
Chris & I are in the same boat, Randy - we just feel that an amount of child-like faith is required to believe in these things, and don't ever want Christ to be confused, or "lumped in" with characters that one by one will be revealed to be untrue...
It's tricky, though. Kiddos don't have filters (ie, Katie saying "BUT SANTA ISN'T REAL, JESUS IS!!!" to her friends at Christmas, and some people are pretty into these guys. We've had to try to help our kiddos understand that this is what we do in our family, and we need to respect what other families do with these things, even when they're different from what we do.
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