anesthetized

i have surgery this friday. some of it corrective and some of it exploratory. one thing i have learned through this whole thing is i'm a bit of a baby. for whatever reason the thought of being "put under" worries me as much as what they might find once they get in there and start rooting around.

the topic that has been on my mind the last day or so is the anesthesia. i was put under twice when i was a little boy but that was so long ago that i don't remember being worried about it.....i suppose there is a lesson in that isn't there??? today as i was going through all the possibilities in my head of what "might happen" God revealed to me what was actually happening all around me.

sadly, many people have allowed the enemy to anesthetize them. they have grown numb to the sin that is eating away at their soul. they don't feel a thing. sin is doing so many things to them.....yet they are totally unaware. at some point the anesthesia will wear off and in that moment they will feel the pain and anguish that sin has brought them.

i'm blessed beyond words that i have a Savior. i'm in awe of the fact that He allows me to know Him by name. i'm honored and humbled that He calls me "son." i'm painfully aware of the sin that is around me and grateful for His mercy that sustains me, equips me, protects me and encourages me.

i hope you know Him too. if you don't or aren't sure i would love to tell you about Him and how He specializes in waking people from the dark slumber of sin and ushers them into the light of His forgiveness and grace.

let me know....

responsibility

it seems like we live in a world where we fear consequence. at catalyst 2009 andy stanley reminded everyone of a quote his dad (Charles Stanley) would always try to live by. The quote is also recorded in andy's book "louder than words" which i feel is a must read. here's the quote:

God takes full responsibility for the life wholly devoted to Him.

think about that sentence for a minute.....allow yourself some time to marinate in that thought. when you and i fully devote our lives to God He will take full responsibility for the consequences. the scripture teaches us that perfect love casts out/drives away fear. the person whose life is aligned with the purposes of God and whose decisions and actions are based on the leadership of the Holy Spirit.....need not fear consequences.

what does that look like in our world?
not willing to fudge the numbers so corporate will reward you.....you may get fired
you make the hard decision to confront a friend about their sin.....they de-friend you
you tell your kids "no" because what they want to do doesn't honor God.....they get mad
you don't engage in gossip at the office....people begin to shun you

as you go throughout your day....wholly devote your life to Him. you may get ridiculed. you may get fired. your kids might get mad at you. you might lose a "friend" or two. the consequences may be difficult for you on a personal level but you, as a follower of Christ, don't own those consequences. God does.

latest and greatest...

first of all....thank you for praying. it is so overwhelming and humbling to feel the body of Christ interceding on my behalf. i have gone from "very concerned" to "it is what it is" in a very short period of time. knowing my personality that is explained by only one thing......God. i really believe and trust in my heart that all is good.

i will have lab work done on wednesday of this week and surgery on october 30th in the morning.

keep the prayers coming if you don't mind.

need a favor

i'm a worrier by nature. i preach against it. i understand it doesn't change reality. wish i didn't...but find that i still do from time to time.

yesterday i went to the dr for an allergy test and a ct on my head. i found out i am allergic to 35 of the 40 things they test for! that isn't what has me worried though. after the dr took my ct he said we need to do surgery because my left maxillary sinus is full of something. he said he wouldn't be concerned if both sinuses were full but "since only one is blocked we need to do surgery to see if it is a malignancy." my heart dropped then very quickly found a resting place at the top of my throat. he saw that i was concerned and started to reassure me that there were other possibilities as well that were actually more likely the case. i have just had a hard time moving past the word "malignancy."

here's the favor....pray that all goes well when i finally get to have the surgery. i obviously would like to think it is something other than a malignant tumor but i have to practice what i preach and just trust that whatever comes from it is.....well, right. here is the prayer list as i see it:

1. God's will be done
2. my faith strengthened

thanks

not guilty anymore

i think one of the most powerful moments at catalyst came during our time of corporate worship. a worship leader named aaron keyes wrote a song called "not guilty anymore." i suppose on some intellectual level i know that my sins have been forgiven. i believe the scriptures teach grace and i have devoted my life to making that message known to the culture in which i have been placed.

during a talk by francis chan he made the following comment: "even pastors need to be pastored." he was referring to a time when he was encouraged and pastored by louie giglio. basically louie had reminded him that grace wasn't just something we are to proclaim to others....but receive it ourselves. what a reminder!! the same mercy and grace i tell others about is there for me as well. i don't have to hide behind the shadow of my failures anymore. i am free to step into the light of His forgiveness and rejoice.

i hope this serves as an encouragement to you today. why? because we have forgiveness....and because we have forgiveness....we're not guilty anymore.

when you see your failures, inadequacies, tendencies and sin i hope you will also be able to see the cross of Christ and in that place find grace.

(lyrics to "not guilty anymore")

it doesn't matter what you've done
it doesn't matter where you're coming from
it doesn't matter where you've been
hear me tell you I forgive

you're not guilty anymore
you're not filthy anymore
I love you mercy is yours
you're not broken anymore
you're not captive anymore
I love you mercy is yours

can you believe that this is true
grace abundant I am giving you
cleansing deeper than you know
all was paid for long ago

there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Jesus

you are spotless
you are holy
you are faultless
you are whole
you are righteous
you are blameless
you are pardoned
you are mine

catalyst 2009

well i am going to blow the dust off the cover of this blog and do my best to be more consistent in posting my thoughts. in many ways i have missed blogging. today i will leave atlanta and head back to dallas. the last couple of days have been thought provoking to say the very least. over the next few weeks i will post some of my take aways from the catalyst conference. hopefully God will use them to challenge you as you continue to chase after him.

today i want to direct you to a video that gave me chill bumps when I first watched it. i hope it challenges you, as it has me, to remember the grace and love that we find in Christ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y84IO9KyLY

be blessed