for those of you who know me well the next sentence will be hard to believe. i was literally left speechless tonight after catalyst. i am not sure if the Spirit of God was binding my tongue or if i, for one of the very few times in my life, had the discernment to realize i had nothing to add to the conversation that God had initiated in my heart. either way....i had nothing to say.
the past several weeks i have become more and more aware of some inconsistencies in my life. my creed doesn't always line up with my deeds as Andy Stanley would say. somewhere along the way i fell more in love with the opportunity of being a minister/pastor than being a passionate, radical, all-in, sold-out, thoroughly saturated child of God. tonight i realized "it" was gone and that i need "it" back. my salvation is secure but along the path of ministry i apparently laid down my joy and subsequently my vision for hating what He hates and loving what He loves.
tonight i spent a couple of hours alone. it was really good for the soul. may not apply to you but if you haven't had any alone time (alone as in no cell phone, iPod, etc) with God in a while don't be stupid. get alone. get rid of distractions. get a conversation going with the God that created you, called you and is willing to sustain and bless you. you won't be sorry.
i know i wasn't.
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